"31 Rings"

I don't know if you noticed, but being a girl is amazing.

Not just because having femininity is an honor in itself, but after you've been a girl, you get to turn into something even more majestic:

You turn into a woman.

When I was a little girl, I aspired to be a woman. If I were three, I told everyone I was eight. If I were eight, I told everyone I was eleven. When I was eleven, I told everyone I was eleven-teen. I felt I was growing up too slow, so adding the "teen" at the end sped up the process. I was thirteen going on thirty, you could've said. I wanted to have my own office and tell my personal assistant to pick up my coffee—four sugars and two creams. I wanted to make appointments and hold meetings in my honor, answer important calls and put people on hold. I wanted to have orders for my receptionist to not let so-and-so in and get me out of important conversations by telling people, "She's in a meeting."

I wanted to be that woman, with her eyebrows always threaded and her acrylics freshly done. But, when I actually started to step into my womanhood, I lost the diva in me.

Reality slapped me in the face. There was no clipboard of commands for my assistant or missed calls from Oprah.

There was...pain.

There was heartbreak and broken friendships, losses and anxieties. There were tears, uncertainties, backstabbing and confusion. It was a rude awakening. It wasn't as glamorous or desirable as I pictured it to be at five.

But, this realization was the event that made me appreciate women all the more.

It made sense to me. When I was a girl, I understood that I came from my mother. But, it wasn't until I was a young woman that I realized I was born during her pain. Is not labor painful? Would I be here today if my mother didn't go through with it? Of course not—which is why my understanding and my appreciation for womanhood has increased greatly.

Great things are born out of pain. It just takes a hero to go through with it.

And, this is the exact audience I'm writing this blog post for: the heroes.

The women who have been through pain, through heartbreak—women who have unspeakable wounds, women who are desperate to heal and recover. This blog post is to teach girls younger than me, learn from women older than me, and be with all the sisters who are with me—for the daughters, the mommies, the wives, the girlfriends, the heart-broken, the sisters...all the ladies who have been through it.

I'm writing this post specifically for you.

In this past month of building my blog, I have been introduced to a woman more incredible than I could ever imagine—a woman much greater, much wiser, and much more valuable than the, "Tell Oprah I'll call her later!" woman I used to look up to. She's a woman I've been remodeling my life after, a woman who I am determined to love, grow into, and become. She's a woman who intimidates the lazy and competes with the sun's shine. She's a boss with vigor and vision, a queen who has her mind set on leveling up. She's faithful, hardworking, confident, and dauntless.

She is the wife of noble character.

You may have read about her in Proverbs 31, where she stars as the woman of a lifetime. Her qualities never die, her mindset can never weaken. She is, inarguably, wifey material. And, today, I want to introduce her to you too, showing you right off the bat why she is so fabulous.

The Wife of Noble Character, the Bible calls her. The category alone sets her apart from the rest.

How?

Because the Bible doesn't say the wife with noble character. If it did, it would indicate that she merely has nobility, that she was never noble from the jump. That's why, instead, the chapter says she's a wife of noble character. In other words, she came from it.

Huge difference.

If she's with noble character, then nobility is a friend of hers. They may show up together from time to time. But, if she came from it, nobility is her mother. It's her birthplace, her origin. If you were to trace this wife back to her roots, you would show up at Nobility's doorstep. That's the kind of woman I want to be. If you wanted to know where I lived, I want to be able to give you Nobility's address.

And, we didn't even read a verse yet.

One thing that comforts me about Proverbs 31 is that I wasn't too far off in my ten-year-old imagination, where my ideal woman hustles hard enough to make her own money. We can see that this wife is a boss of her own in verse 16.

It says:

"She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard."

Let me translate: a sis is smart about her money.

She's smart about her money, but she knows what she wants too. The Bible said she considered it before she bought it, meaning, she inspected it for confirmation that the field would produce a good profit—more than the original investment. She had to see it before she liked it. And once she liked it, she wanted it. And when she wanted it, she got it. Sounds like a boss to me! (And perhaps Grande's inspiration).

Not only that, but she worked for it. And then out of her earnings, she invested into it. She didn't just buy the field; she turned it into a business. She planted a vineyard to collect her coin, ladies. The wife of noble character is one smart woman—

—which leads me to verse 13 and 17. They say:

Verse 13:

"She selects wool and flax, and works with eager hands."

Verse 17:

"She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks."

In other words, her earnings don't come easy. This is the work ethic of a woman who gets the job done.

Don't you think it takes a visionaire to see potential in wool and flax? Do you know how many people would walk past two incredibly mundane materials without thinking anything of it? Not the wife of noble character. She's creative. She sees what could become of something. She works eagerly until the potential is reached. And, take a look at verse 17. She works with vigor and determination. She is the template of a hard worker, a model of goal-setting and success. And, what I love even more about it?

Her body is made for it.

Read it for yourself! The verse says her arms are perfect for what she's set to do. This tells me two things:

1) She's been working long enough that her body naturally suits the task that needs done.

2) She takes care of herself.

I imagine that this wife goes to the gym, drinks water, and keeps up with her body. She has a business to manage! Of course, she's gotta take care of her health. And, she knows that. So, she does that. I want to be like her!

And while her physical health is important, she doesn't forget about her spiritual health either. Verse 18 speaks volumes of this wife's character and reveals to me one of the greatest secrets about womanhood. It says this:

"She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night."

I love that. Not only does this highlight her persistence, working late until the deal is done, but I even think this tells of her great faith. I think this verse could mean that even when things go dark, even when life gets hard, she still outshines it all. Her faith is what keeps the darkness out. That's the type of faith I want to have! This wife has so much integrity and value that the darkness is nothing to her. What a woman!

It reminds me of the characteristic we'll read in verse 21, too, where it says:

"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."

So, even the cold doesn't bother her. In the dead of winter, she has taken such good care of her own that she doesn't even bat an eye. Not to mention the fabric she clothes her family in. The winter couldn't touch them if it tried. So come what may, the girl is good.

And speaking of clothing, here's a verse most of you may have seen before. It's one of the more popular verses from this passage of Scripture for very good reason. I'm talking about verse 25. It says:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come."

Strength and dignity. Huh. Sounds like a bomb outfit; am I right, ladies? There is no greater #ootd than hers.

No wonder she can laugh at the days to come. After all, look at her diet of choice. The Bible says in verse 27:

"She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness."

I like to think this verse means she'd rather starve than feed off of laziness. How could she when she has a business? She's wealthy, but laziness is one thing she can't afford. How else would she be able to watch over her affairs? Verse 15 reveals that she gets up while it's still dark, before the sun could even come up, to make sure her 24 hours of the day are worthwhile. Her planner is booming. She has things to do! The wife does not have time to sleep until two in the afternoon.

And, you know who else makes the best use of their time?

Her husband.

That's right. The wife of noble character did not marry a nobody. She takes care of her family, but she married a man that takes care of her too.

Verse 23 says this:

"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land."

In other words, her husband is a boss too.

He has respect from the city. He has one of the highest positions in the land. Tells a lot about his hard work too, doesn't it? That's the kind of husband I want. If I'm going to be as boss as the wife of noble character, I want to have a husband of noble character too. No less than that. I can't imagine a wife of noble character having time for anything less.

After all, her noble character is what her husband praises. Take a look at verses 28-29:

"Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'"

Notice how doing noble things are different from letting nobility raise you. Anyone can do a noble thing, but not everyone can be a noble thing.

But, this wife is.

Because out of all the things we've seen in her—her work ethic, her money management, her bright faith, and integrity—the most important thing about the wife of noble character is revealed in verse 30.

It says this:

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be

praised."

Let me put it this way: Fenty Beauty will make you look good for a night, but a deep reverence for Christ will bring you good things for a lifetime.

This is the wife of noble character's countenance. Her makeup is the fear of the Lord. That's why she doesn't worry about the amount of likes she gets, the attention she does or doesn't receive, the people who watch her story, or who texted her back. She is a worshiper, a servant. Her character brings glory to God. And, therefore, she is a woman to be praised. She doesn't need validation.

So, as I continue to take after her—fully stepping into my calling as a writer, a blogger, a creative, an entrepreneur—I want to be careful not starting my womanhood in vain. No amount of success could compare to being a woman of God. She is my goal. She is my standard. My duty will forever be to put Christ first.